My mom and grandma are visiting tomorrow; my fridge is minimally populated with foods that belong to either the alcohol or condiment food groups . And my last overnight guests were nearly bludgeoned with a mirror. Yeesh.
Also one of my bosses winked at me today (while wearing Dansko's and rolled up jeans, terrrrrrifying) while describing William Bradford (a pilgrim and/or puritan, apparently?) and I dithered/awkward-turtled to an early grave. One of the more uncomfortable moments of my life. I'm hoping he just had a twitch.
Also also, the Leif mentioned in my previous entry was a total dud and a half. He could not think of words to say and wore khaki shorts and a polo to a punk/rockabilly bar known for its 400 different whiskeys.
THIS HAPPENED TO ME:
On Friday I went to this super sleazy bar and I danced and smoked (oof, bad drunken habit) with this boy. His name is Leif. He was wearing a backpack (I felt like I was talking to a Digimon character, all he needed were some goggles and three feet of spikey hair), which was apparently empty. He is 23 and works in finance--loans, I think? He was adorable. Like, so adorable. Normally my milkshake brings creeps to the yard but he was so adorable and wearing a flannel shirt and didn't understand pop music and asked if I wanted to hang out on Sunday so I gave him my number.
MIRACLE OF MIRACLES, HE JUST TEXTED ME. He wants to hang out this week because he is "wiped" today.
I FEEL LIKE I AM GOING TO VOM.
(Granted, I already felt a little like that because these were my food options: a can of tuna, a bag of cranberry walnut salad toppings, ten samples of hummus I scored whilst wandering Navy Pier, Malibu rum, and half a liter of Diet Coke. So I had salad toppings for dinner.)
Christ, like, HOLY FRIJOLE. The only time a guy I liked ever actually asked me out he basically thought I would be his out-of-town booty call and this booty was not into that (despite the fact that his favorite show is Spaced, which was quite the aphrodisiac).
I am not mature enough for this. I can't even go grocery shopping on a regular basis. When I run out of underwear sometimes I buy more instead of doing laundry. Probably nothing will come of this but I feel like I am finally entering the cakeshop of love. I am in the revolving glass door and I see a delicious cupcake wearing a Jansport backpack, and it is looking back at me with one raised eyebrow and a shrug.
This cupcake has eyebrows? And shoulders? And when it tries to jog my memory about the time we spent together, it says, "I had a backpack lol." I am not a sane person, HOW DO I DO THIS? I don't know how to do sober romantic encounters with non-creeps, heeeeeeelp.
Perhaps I should clarify: I've always found Tai from Digimon attractive.
I HAVE TO GIVE A TOAST AT MY FRIEND'S WEDDING AT THE END OF THE MONTH.
EVERYTHING I WRITE IS DUMB.
Have any of you ever given a toast at a wedding? I could reeeeaaaaaaallllllly use some advice. And/or a speech writer.
Not having the internet at home is an incredible nuisance. At least Starbucks has free wi-fi now; that's where I am right now. It's freezing in here and I just drank an iced green tea lemonade in about two seconds and I horribly need to pee but I can't because I don't want to interrupt any of my downloads. But still, internet! YES!
I flew out to Washington Dulles in June for a job interview. The interview went alright but the company was just an absolute mess, e.g. they didn't tell me that they wanted me to take a cab from the airport so I ended up wandering around the place, calling numbers that no one ever answered, until I finally got in touch with someone and they were like, "Oh, you can't find the cabs?" And I wanted to be like, "FOOL, THAT IS NOT THE PROBLEM, I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU WANT ME TO DO." Also they dropped me off at the airport with about an hour before my plane was supposed to leave and I barely boarded in time; seriously, I was sprinting through the place like a maniac. Anyway, I did not get this job. I was a little disappointed (the salary would have been $42 grand), but not enough to get upset about it. I was a little hesitant about moving out to VA, away from everyone I know except one person.
Although occasionally that sounds kind of nice because my parents are driving me insane. INSANE. I would say that I am tortured about 30% of every day, because I am twenty two years old, at home without a job or an income, and all my parents ever do is fight about how poor they are, because they are just about as unemployed as I am. At least my dad gets unemployment and occasional jobs (he works in commercial construction, which is not exactly booming in Michigan these days). I'm only sticking with this arrangement because I'm saving a lot of money: when I'm home, I pretty much never spend any (my drink today was paid for with a gift card that I magically found in one of my drawers). None of my friends are around so I basically just haunt the library, hang out with my brother and grandparents, stay submerged in the pool for as long as possible (I'm getting pretty good at it), and zumba.
If you haven't diagnosed me yet, I'll just tell you: I am in such a strange place right now. (Not geographically, obvs, as Starbucks is pretty bog standard.) I have no idea what to do with myself. I've been applying to basically any job for which I even remotely qualify but I haven't had much luck. So I've been trying to engage in some major self-examination, and I think at some point so far this summer I decided that I want to be a journalist. At first I was a little suspicious that this had something to do with my daily viewing of Gilmore Girls (thanks, ABC Fam!), but then I realized that I actually wanted to do that when I was younger, so I think the impulse might actually be legit. Anyway, my plan right now is to get as much experience as I can and then start applying to grad schools, hopefully for next year, because I would like to put off paying my student loans as quickly as possible for as long as possible.
I've actually had some progress in getting some experience, too. My mom's cousin-in-law hooked me up with a friend of hers who just started a paper. To start off, I'm going to be doing a feature every week on a member of the community. The best part: I'll get $25 per article! Is it possible to get used to the idea that you can actually get money in exchange for writing? This is all so novel and awesome and dream-fulfilling. I might try to sell ads, too, for which I'll get a 20% commission (take THAT, Footprints). Also they're making me business cards AND a press pass. I hope I can use it to weasel my way into special events.
Anyway, being that I finally have an excuse to go places in search of internet, I will hopefully be more in touch with my virtual world. I would still really like to talk about Doctor Who at some point (I'm still incredibly obsessed. In fact, I have even been enjoying Matt/Karen fic. I don't know what it is about DW but it turns me into an RPF sort of person. And I like it). And maybe one day I'll even post some Obama pics.
Life lately has been crazy--hence my online absence. Hopefully one of these days I'll finish playing catch up with your lives and mine. Maybe we can even talk about television (i.e. Doctor Who). There is just something I want to share right now:
I'M GRADUATING FROM COLLEGE TOMORROW. AND PRESIDENT OBAMA WILL BE THERE.