i have measured out my life with coffee spoons

Thug means never having to say you're sorry.

Fri, 07 Aug 2009 04:41:08 GMT

Well, hello there, flist.

I accidentally went to my journal entries' page instead of my flist a minute ago and realized that I have not made many sober posts lately. This is only because I--for whatever reason--really enjoy sharing my drunken thoughts with the internet, and not because I am an alcoholic.

Recently, some things have happened in my life, some more interesting than others. I'll list them in order of increasing intrigue. (That word looks so fucked up to me right now and I don't know why.)

1. The shoe store I worked at turned into a skateboard shop. I do not skateboard, and after one day of attempting to answer questions about skateboarding and build skateboards for people who actually use them, both the manager and I decided I should move to the other Ann Arbor location and stick to shoes.

2. My internship has been extended into the Fall semester. On a smaller scale, but still, I'll be getting twelve dollars an hour, five hours a week, for creating a brand new tutoring system for the University of Michigan. That's going to look so bad ass on my resume. I'm also going to be a course assistant for a freshman writing class, for which I'm going to be paid nine fifty an hour. OH HELLS YEAH. I'm going to have three jobs in the fall, so I've decided that I'm going to take a trip after I graduate. Actually, that's pretty exciting. Let's move that to it's own number.

3. I'm going to take a trip after I graduate! Probably to Europe! Hopefully someone will be wiling and able to come with me.

4. I reread The Half-Blood Prince this week, mostly because I was really confused by the movie when the Weasley's house burned down. After reading the book again, I can for sure say that did not happen. Also I can say that I will apparently always cry when Dumbledore dies, and I can never read just one of those books without reading the rest of the series. So I'm embarking, for the zillionth time, on a (slightly out-of-order) Harry Potter reread.

5. Someone threw a bottle of Jim Beam through one of my windows. Let me repeat that, as your interest is probably waning at this point because even the more notable events in my life are generally pretty mundane and this is really the vital part of this here entry: SOMEONE THREW A BOTTLE OF JIM FUCKING BEAM THROUGH MY FUCKING WINDOW. I still haven't gotten all the glass cleaned up/out of my feet, and my landlord still hasn't replaced the window. They did at least put up a super ghetto plank of wood to protect me from the spiders and elements and asshats outside. This is the SECOND window that has been smashed. I don't know what the fuck this is. I'm going to start taking it personally if it happens again.

I was going to do that WIP meme that's been going around, but I think I'll save that for next time. I'll try to set a record and post two sober entries in a row. Right now I think I'll go watch some Weeds, as I've finally gotten around to watching the series in order. I did some research a few minutes ago and discovered that there are not many people online who ship Andy and Nancy. I don't understand how that's possible. AT ALL. I'm shipping them like crazy. Damnit, I want fic! And every time I see Andy I just want to do dirty things to him.

Ha, and on that note--

OOOOH SHIT.

Thu, 18 Jun 2009 02:46:22 GMT

Also I just made this:

Obviously I am doing a lot of writing.

ETA: I'm trying really hard not to find and post a video of Logan and Ducan fighting after the boat-plugging comment. That scene cracks me up--probably one of the best Duncan moments, that's for sure. Right under his toast to Molly.

Pinching your own nipples can sometimes work.

Thu, 18 Jun 2009 01:26:24 GMT

I'm watching Veronica Mars On Demand! (Silly, I know, since I have the DVDs, but that would require moving and I've had way too much Qdoba for that.) GOOD GOD I MISSED THIS SHOW. It's Normal Is the Watchword (aka not exactly the best episode ever aka I'm still mad about the whole Duncan/Logan do-si-do) and I'm still overjoyed to see these people on my television. LOL, Logan just sucker-kicked Weevil in the face. Has anyone ever made one of those GQMF things for Logan Echolls? That should happen.

Oh, Logan. I think I should conduct a poll! (Note: the obvious answer to the first question is "all the fucking time," so please go with your second choice.)

View Poll: Things Lindsay Wants to Know

I don't think I've watched the entirety of this episode since it was on TV, because I never noticed that they actually show the witness dude on the bridge with Logan. I always thought he was just a blurry blob. So does this mean I was the only person who actually thought Dr. Griffith was the witness at first? Lol.

I'm feeling rather nostalgic right now. I kind of want to write some VM fic. I've got a million half-finished stories on my hard drive, maybe I should try to finish one. (I feel like I've typed that about a million times and never followed through, ugh.)

ETA: They did such a good job with the music on VM. GAH, I love so much about this show it's ridiculous.

When the dogs begin to smether.

Sun, 03 May 2009 15:38:39 GMT

Points of interest:

1. I didn't get anything lower than a B this semester! And now I'm on summer break!
2. My brother came to Ann Arbor yesterday and we hung out and had Indian food. It was a fun/funny day.
3. Skins is really, really fantastic.

I'm going home to Oxford today (the land of no internet), and then I'm flying to Florida on Wednesday to visit Autumn and sunshine and theme parks. Therefore, I don't know how much I'm going to be around for the next two weeks. Please, assure me that my plane won't crash and I won't die. This will be my third time on a plane and I'm kind of freaking out about it. At least I watched that special on Nightline a couple weeks ago and know the best ways to survive that sort of situation. I already made sure to get an aisle seat to improve my chances.

I apologize for the capslock and exclamation points, but today warrants that sort of treatment.

Fri, 24 Apr 2009 06:11:52 GMT

HELL TO THE MOTHER FUCKING YES:
1. I GOT A SUMMER INTERNSHIP!
2. I WILL BE MAKING TWELVE DOLLARS AN HOUR AT THIS INTERNSHIP!
3. I GOT A RAISE AT THE SHOE STORE AND I NOW (ALMOST) MAKE MINIMUM WAGE!
4. SUNSHINE!
5. THE WINGS SWEPT COLUMBUS!!!!!!

And we will assume 'here' is short for, 'Here I am... rock you like a hurricane.'

Fri, 10 Apr 2009 17:49:27 GMT

I saw I Love You, Man last night with Kiki. (We were in dire need of some Seth and Ryan Time.) It was pretty hilarious. I think I could easily and happily spend the rest of my days just watching Paul Rudd and Jason Segel hanging out. They're ridiculous together and I love it.

I'm gong home for Easter (yesssssss, Good Friday dinner at the Club!), which means that I'm going to miss the Doctor Who special. My mother cancelled the internet at home because my brother is an addict. So I guess I'm going to have to wait until next week to watch it, which really kind of sucks since I was rather looking forward to this one. The story seems like it could be pretty cool. I'm optimistic about this, despite my brain knowing better.

Ergo: I will be absent this weekend. So happy Easter and Passover and Doctor Who and whatever else you've got going on!

La cucaracha, la cucaracha, LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA.

Wed, 01 Apr 2009 07:21:34 GMT

Earlier today, I thought I saw a cockroach in my bedroom. This seriously freaked me out. I've only encountered a cockroach once in my life (this summer at a McDonald's on Woodward. The thing was lying on its back just outside the door, twitching and I think in the process of dying). However, about five minutes ago I was just about to turn off my light and go to sleep when I spotted an enormous (seriously, like two inches long) brown smudge on my ceiling. I was like, AHHH, COCKROACH. But no--it was a centipede. Except it had a bazillion legs, so it was a BAZILLIONPEDE. So I stared at it, trying to summon up some murderous courage (knowing that if I tried to smoosh it into the ceiling it would inevitably fall in my hair and I would absolutely die). Just as I was about to make my move, the thing fell off the ceiling. I chased it with my shoe but it squeezed (seriously, ENORMOUS) under my bedroom door. When I followed it out to the hallway, there was nothing there. So I was like, "Centipede, hi. Look. I think we should try to be friends. I'll be nice to you if you'll be nice to me." (And that is in quotes because I did actually say it out loud, and also asked it to stay out of my closet.)

Except as soon as I see it again IT WILL DIE. Because I WILL KILL IT.

Mother fucker, I wanted to go to bed early tonight. Now I'm going to be on INFINITIPEDE patrol and I probably won't even be able to close my eyes. But at least it's not a cockroach. Although: are some centipedes poisonous? I think I remember hearing that they could be poisonous. Oh dear god. I will not rest until its unnatural life is snuffed out. (Ha, I watched Jaws today. I feel like there are some common themes going around.)

In my body, where the shame gland should be, there is a second awesome gland.

Sun, 29 Mar 2009 07:19:11 GMT

So in the past few months, I've suddenly gained an appreciation for "sitcoms"? Or at least television programming that lasts half an hour (with commercials) and happens to make me laugh until I snort. For example: Spaced and Asylum (both of which are unbelievably awesome and have elevated my Simon Pegg appreciation level from Respectful Love to Possibly Scary Obsession); Extras; Better off Ted; and, most recently (as in the past week and especially tonight), How I Met Your Mother. OH MY GOD IT IS SO GOOD I CAN'T STOP WATCHING. It is hilarious and surprisingly well-written (most of the time) and I actually adore every single character. I've even learned to ignore the laugh track. I got through almost the entirety of season two tonight and now my eyes hurt. BUT IT IS A GOOD SORT OF HAPPY HURT.

I haven't seen it since it aired and I don't think I want to watch it again for a long time (reasons forthcoming), so I'm a little fuzzy on the specific details. But be sure, there are certainly things I can't forget. Some, I totally loved:

Roslin's convo with Doc Cottle.
The Apollo/Starbuck flashbacks. (Except in my mind they were like, "Shut up, Zack," and then continued with the sex.)
Chief strangling Tory. It was basically the most cathartic thing I've ever seen on television, as homicidal as that sounds. I never really understood the Callie-hate. In fact, I always kind of liked her, especially when she bit off that dude's ear. So when Tory MURDERED her and got away with it, I was seriously pissed. This episode fixed all that.
Basically, the entire finale right up to finding "Earth." It was suspenseful and nerve-wracking and fulfilling and crazy awesome. I loved it.

But then comes the things I don't totally love. They found Earth, Jr. And nomads, or whatever. And it just went so downhill so fast I wanted to throw up so much. There are things about the finale that I actually find physically painful to think about. Off the top of my head:

The ending with the robots and Hendrix and modern society. (Obvs, I think. Or did some people like that?)
Am I really supposed to believe that after running from extinction for the last four years, the Colonies' only surviving humans actually want to live without toilet paper or antibiotics and mate with people who don't have language? Lee, what the hell happened to your brain??
The fucking "resolution" to Kara and Lee's relationship. Just, like, don't even get me started. I mean, they set up their relationship from the miniseries and then we don't get anything--not even a hug or a kiss or some sort of tiny acknowledgment that hey, these two kids are kind of crazy about each other in a really super angsty awesome way--before Kara just suddenly disappears. And then Lee doesn't even look upset about it? Lol, RDM. LOL.
Kara. I just. She's an angel? A cylon hybrid? A collective hallucination? A fucking pigeon? And if she died in Maelstrom, when Lee saw her viper explode, then how the hell did her charred body end up on Earth Sr? Do you see all these question marks?????

And what really, really bugs me about the finale is the way they just explained nearly every single thing in the series by saying it was all orchestrated by some god. That's just stupid. Seriously. If a god's in charge, there are no rules, no actual explanations. Everything's basically a free-for-all and nothing anybody did mattered because it was all going to turn out like this anyway and it's STUPID. And I'm ANGRY. I rewatched the first half of season one recently and I absolutely loved every second of every episode. I am now wondering: what the hell happened to that show? I wanted to watch the finale for that one, not whatever that other crap was.

I think the reason I didn't want BSG to end (besides, you know, not wanting it to be over) is that I couldn't think of any possible ending I'd actually like. I don't want this story finished because it just can't be.

Blerg.

I need to go to bed. My body seems to be having trouble responding to my brain's commands. I think it already went to sleep. But maybe I'll watch one more episode of HIMYM--it's not like I need to dance a jig or thumb wrestle to watch TV.

Get thee to a nunnery!

Thu, 19 Mar 2009 04:17:37 GMT

I'm reading Hamlet right now (well, not right now, obvs). To my absolute shock and surprise, I'm actually really enjoying it. Maybe it's just all the madness and angst and plotting? I don't know. But Bill, man, I've got to hand it to you: this is some good shit.

Anyway, I've interrupted my Shakespeare-ing because I need to share a thought I've been thinking:

I DO NOT WANT BSG TO BE OVER

TEN TEN TEN TEN TEN TEN TEN

Tue, 10 Mar 2009 22:38:03 GMT

DO IT! VOTE FOR TEN! YOUR VOTE COULD MAKE THE DIFFERENCE!

And once again: VOTE OR DIE!

Mon, 09 Mar 2009 00:51:11 GMT

GO, DO YOUR CIVIC DUTY! There is no reason Seth Cohen should not win this battle. I mean, come on: HE'S SETH COHEN, PEOPLE.

(Hopefully one of these days I will actually get around to making a real post. Maybe that one with my thoughts about the DLM movie, partly because I promised, but mostly because I have to complain about it to someone.)

This entry made me realize I need more zombie-themed icons.

Fri, 30 Jan 2009 03:23:53 GMT

Thank you, Rachel Maddow, for providing me with the sort of news I actually care about:

Someone altered electronic signs intended to warn motorists of construction near the intersection of Lamar and Martin Luther King boulevards to warn drivers to "run" from the "zombies ahead."

"The end is near!!!!!!!!!" the signs exclaimed. "Caution! Zombies ahead!!!"

"Run for cold climates," the signs instructed motorists.

Okay, I'm just here because I had to share that with you guys. I have an esame d'italiano domani, so I need to prepare myself enough to get at least a C- (I'm taking it pass/fail, which I think is a pretty wise decision). But before I go, three more extremely vital things:

1. Slumdog Millionaire now owns 78% of my soul. I've seen every big Oscar contender (okay, except for The Wrestler), so I can say this with a decent amount of conviction: if Slumdog doesn't win best picture, I will stage a fucking coup.

2. Zack and Miri Make a Porno is pretty hilarious.

3. THE MUSCLE ON THE BACK OF MY THIGH, I DON'T KNOW IT'S NAME, BUT IT'S SPAZZING THE FUCK OUT.

This is our moment.

Tue, 20 Jan 2009 19:18:48 GMT

There isn't much to say that hasn't already been said. I just wanted to add my YEAH WAHOO! to the chorus of voices and also say that Rev. Joseph Lowery is pretty bad ass--I would go to church every week if he were my pastor. (Also, I just really wanted to post this picture because it made me laugh.)

Oh, and: I can't tell if I have a crush on Rahm Emanuel because he's attractive and funny or because he is now Josh Lyman in my mind.

HOLY SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!

Sat, 17 Jan 2009 04:25:42 GMT

FNL is just fucking perfect. The finale wasn't as good as the episode before it (but then again, there isn't much television that's better than that episode), but it was still pretty awesome. If this show gets cancelled I probably will stage a coup or die or something.

Okay, as the above is pretty much a given, we're now to the real reason I'm posting:

I CANNOT BELIEVE DEE KILLED HERSELF. HOLY SHIT. HOLY SHIT!

And I don't even know what to think about the Kara stuff. Again, I say: HOLY SHIT! And also WTF!

Is Ellen actually the fifth? I couldn't really tell if Tigh was being himself (aka crazy/awesome/CRAZY) or if the show was actually telling us. I'm kind of leaning towards the former, mostly because I still think Lee's brother is the final cylon.

It is so cold I think my internal organs might be frozen.

I wish the world was flat like the old days.

Thu, 01 Jan 2009 00:49:02 GMT

I was going to post one of those 2008 reflection-type posts, but I didn't have time. Maybe tomorrow? I'm off to Kati's, where her parents are going to let us semi-illegally consume alcohol (legal on her part, illegal on mine). It should be amusing when my mother calls at midnight, as I'm not sure how good I am at pretending to be sober when I'm actually drunk. Generally when I'm faced with a situation in which that skill could come in handy, I duck in the closet. (And that is not a metaphor.) Aaaaanyway, the crux of this:

HAPPY(almost) NEW YEAR!

I love you all fiercely and I hope you each have a fantastic time tonight, whatever your plans may be. Yay for new years and fresh beginnings! (And outdoor hockey games! Although I think Autumn and a handful of others are the only ones who'd join me in that cheer.)

I really don't know what I was expecting.

Sat, 27 Dec 2008 06:02:29 GMT

I found that sort of awful. The story could have been cool but the pacing was weird or something. I just didn't give a crap about Jackson or the chick. And all the Cybermen shit was ridiculous, especially the giant Cyberbot or whatever the fuck it was. Basically, I NEVER WANT TO SEE ANOTHER CYBERMAN EVER AGAIN.

I'm sure everyone thought the same thing, but seriously:

Does every technological device have to be phallic-inspired? Seriously. It's just distracting.

On the bright side, Tennant was super attractive, but that's no surprise. I was sort of digging the air balloon guy, too, and Jackson's kid was absolutely adorable. So I guess there were some pretty people, at least.

So... remind me again why I was so excited about this episode?

I'd feed him there and wash him there and give him his massage.

Wed, 24 Dec 2008 21:02:52 GMT

Happy [insert holiday]! And because it can't be Christmas without hearing this song at least once:

I'm waiting for my family to get ready so we can go to my grandparents' and then to various family members' homes. I bought a dress and shiny jacket thing from Forever 21 yesterday and can I just say: I look FIERCE.

I hope everyone's respective holidays are enjoyable, and that your family doesn't make you as insane as mine currently is. We're buried under about a foot and a half of snow, and the roads have been so bad the past few days that I haven't been able to hang out with any of my friends--only my family. As I'm sure you can imagine, that brings much joy to my heart.

This is probably the best part about Christmas: DOCTOR WHO TOMORROW DOCTOR WHO TOMORROW YAY YAY YAY!

P.S. Did you see Pav DOMINATE last night, Autumn? Hot damn!

Baby, you got a stew going!

Fri, 12 Dec 2008 20:39:02 GMT

Seriously, I'm writing my paper. I just need to share with you all two things that tickled me today:

1. The upcoming novel Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, which "features the original text of Jane Austen's beloved novel with all-new scenes of bone-crunching zombie action. As our story opens, a mysterious plague has fallen upon the quiet English village of Meryton—and the dead are returning to life! Feisty heroine Elizabeth Bennet is determined to wipe out the zombie menace, but she's soon distracted by the arrival of the haughty and arrogant Mr. Darcy. What ensues is a delightful comedy of manners with plenty of civilized sparring between the two young lovers—and even more violent sparring on the blood-soaked battlefield as Elizabeth wages war against hordes of flesh-eating undead. Complete with 20 illustrations in the style of C. E. Brock (the original illustrator of Pride and Prejudice), this insanely funny expanded edition will introduce Jane Austen's classic novel to new legions of fans."

I think I might just have to preorder that.

2. University of Michigan investigates professor's involvement in prostitution case with law student. It's a bit tl;dr to post the whole thing here (although it is well worth the read), so I'll just give you a quick run-down of the best parts:

the student was prostituting herself on Craigslist to help pay law school tution
she "reluctantly agreed to allow Eliav [the professor] to strike her buttocks with a belt, but got upset when he slapped her in the face twice"
"The rarity of how the case began - with a law student showing up at the police department's front desk to report she was assaulted while committing a crime herself-was not lost on investigators. "Perhaps she should have cracked a legal textbook before coming in to the police station to talk about this," Ann Arbor Detective Sgt. Richard Kinsey said."
he paid her $300, which he insists was just a "token"
he answered the add because he wanted to experiment sexually

My favorite part of all this, though, is I HAD THIS PROFESSOR FRESHMAN YEAR!!! KIKI AND I USED TO MAKE DIRTY JOKES ABOUT HIM BECAUSE WE FOUND HIM ATTRACTIVE, DESPITE THE FACT THAT HE IS NOT REALLY ALL THAT GOOD-LOOKING.

I'm a goddamn marvel of modern science.

Fri, 12 Dec 2008 08:17:29 GMT

It's been a while since I've posted. Or since I've commented, or replied to comments, or even read my flist to any complete degree. I've even behind on all my shows. This is because school is insane, and it's making me loony, too.

Take, for instance, this email I just wrote to my mother, instead of writing an essay on Woolf's To the Lighthouse:

If you visit Sunday, please, please remember to bring that bug shield spray stuff. I've been cohabiting with ants and spiders and it's all making me very wiggly and paranoid. (Did you know that one of the definitions of cohabiting means living together in a sexual manner? Just so we're clear: I was not evoking that definition. More like the one that explains how every time I look anywhere there is some sort of creature with an exoskeleton creeping along on its unnatural number of legs and I have to battle the urge to call Dad and make him drive to Ann Arbor and kill it for me. There's this really weird species that seems native to my apartment--it looks like it's wearing yellow rubber shoes. And it's obviously a spider, but some of them only have seven legs. Sometimes I imagine that when they reach a certain age, they have this big ceremony and cut one of their legs off, to symbolize their manhood or whatever--like a Bar Mitzvah, just with amputation. Spiders are sinister and evil enough to put their children through that sort of thing, I think.)

I feel like the process of writing this paper might in fact be turning my brain to mush. I should really be working on it and yet, see how I'm writing a needlessly long-ish email to you instead of just going and writing the damn thing? I've been planning it for hours, using many sheets of scrap paper, because my brainstorming and pre-writing process happens to involve me writing out conversations with myself about my dumb ideas. I'm procrastinating because I've spent so much time talking to myself and planning it out that I'm almost unsure of how to get the actual paper rolling. I think I'm afraid I'm going to mess up my very brilliant ideas by translating them into academic English. If only I could just turn in all my paper scraps and let that be that. I'd just meet my professor in his office and throw them up in the air around him, like confetti, and shout, "I have had my vision! I lay down my brush in extreme fatigue!" (A sort of abridged, Lindsay-fied version of a line in the book I now, for some reason, know by heart and which will be extraordinarily appropriate if/when I finish the thing.) It could double as performance art. I could tour America and Canada, maybe even the United Kingdom. I'll be really popular in Finland, probably, with their endless cold and Viking heritage and president who's a woman but looks like Conan O'Brien (I wonder if her term's up by now). They're so nice and blond and cold, they'll think I'm a genius.

God. See this? You send me to college and I turn into a crazy person. You probably have no clue as to what I'm talking about right now. I say this because I don't think I really do and yet I'm the one typing it. I think I lost myself sometime around spider Bar Mitzvahs. Maybe I could take a copy of this email up to the free University mental health clinic and have them declare me temporarily insane so I don't have to write anything or take anymore tests. I mean, if that can get you off the hook for murders, why the heck can't it get you out of homework assignments? Our whole social and legal structure is obviously deeply flawed.

I stand by that last point. But do a lot of Finland citizens have Viking heritage? I should have a fact checker for my emails.

I'm not finished with exams until Wednesday, which is just torture for so many reasons, one of them being that from this point on, I can't watch anymore TWW. I am so obsessed with these characters and Josh/Donna that it is killing me inside to be away from them for that long. the_spin, yes, indeed, I would love some fic recs, and certainly as soon as I'm set free I will be bugging you for your finest.

I'm hoping next semester won't be as ridiculous as this one was. I'd like to actually be friendly with my friends list on a more-than-monthly basis. I like you guys, you know?

Are we human, or are we dancers?

Thu, 27 Nov 2008 05:08:15 GMT

Happy (almost) Thanksgiving, my fellow ~~prisoners~~ American citizens! (I don't know what made me think of that right now but I'm sitting here cracking up. Seriously.)

I drove home today and was completely shocked: I live about an hour and a half from Ann Arbor. There is no snow on the ground in Ann Arbor. However, at my house, there are approximately FOUR INCHES OF SNOW on the ground. I SNOW SKATED with my brother. (Well, technically, I watched him snow skate, but the point remains.) I can't really understand this--which is probably why I always did awful in earth science, now that I think about it.

I was an extra in a movie last week! Some Rob Schneider thing--the director and producers and whatever kept calling it a ~film~ and I was like, dude, if it's Rob Schneider, it is definitely a movie--was filming on campus and so I skipped class and got to be filmed walking in and out of the League about fifteen times. So hopefully the back of my head won't get cut out. I was told to make an IMDB page and add myself as an uncredited extra, but that just makes me feel silly.

I made a sweet potato pie last night! With a real sweet potato! This might not be much of an accomplishment to most people, but for me, this is like scaling freaking Everest. Seriously. I fried a fork once--cooking is definitely not my forte. Hopefully it will actually be, you know, edible. (The pie, not the fork.)

And now I'm going to go watch The West Wing. Virginia got me hooked, mostly on Josh, particularly on Josh/Donna. I just thought I'd write up a quick post, since I haven't done so in a while, and wish my favorite flist a good Thanksgiving. Enjoy your favorite foodstuffs and forget about calories and try not to kill your families!

Democracy is founded on one simple rule

Tue, 04 Nov 2008 16:34:11 GMT

I just voted in a presidential election for the first time!

(There are comments that need responding and posts that need my commenting. This will all happen tonight, as I will need distraction while waiting for the results. I really fucking hate waiting for stuff.)

Before I go to class, I also need to say this: meimichan, I'm so glad that your mom's feeling better!

I would like to purchase some cocaine, please.

Wed, 29 Oct 2008 01:56:11 GMT

HOLY FUCK:

HOLY FUCK.

(Video by jenncho. She has other clips and the promo for the next episode here.)

I need a Taub icon. He cracks me up.

In less exciting (but still pretty cool) news, some lady came into the store today and bought some shoes for a movie they're filming somewhere around here called High School. She said, with accompanying air quotes, "I need to find some "straight kid" shoes--they're for before he smokes pot."

P.S. LOL, "Undead"Journal.

They called me the hyacinth girl.

Wed, 22 Oct 2008 02:07:33 GMT

Well, that was an awkward episode of House to watch with my father.

Was that the PI's last episode? I read somewhere it was, but I really just want him to join up with Wilson and House so they can all be BFF together and prank each other and grow matching stubble. (If Robert is indeed able to grow facial hair.)

I never had too much of a problem with Thirteen, but I was a little excited those fifteen minutes she was fired. Whatever, I can put up with her, but can she maybe get a storyline that doesn't mirror one Cameron already did?

That little moment between Foreman and Chase got me all nostalgic. God, I miss the old team. And Chase is attractive.

Most importantly: the end. HOUSE'S FAAAAAACE. This is the point where I admit to the ferocious Huddy shipper within me. I CAN NOT WAIT FOR NEXT WEEK.

I'm watching Fringe and aww, it's Digger! (Lorelai's boyfriend from... season four?) Does he have any setting other than smarmy?

Fall Break's over, unfortunately. I have to go back to Ann Arbor in the morning. My mom was just like, "I'm going to miss Lindsay." My brother gave her a serious look and responded, "I'm going to wear corduroy pants tomorrow."

I'm having a really difficult time paying attention to this episode. I honestly haven't understood anything past heads exploding and, of course, Pacey's hotness. Maybe I'll try again tomorrow.

He must be a drug dealer.

Sun, 19 Oct 2008 03:06:37 GMT

HI EVERYONE!

Remember me? If you don't, that's alright. I've pretty much been MIA around here since July. I've been meaning to post, but I've barely had the chance to log into LJ and read about your lives, let alone comment on mine. Or television (which, let's face it, is really what's important here). I got an email the other day informing me that I was automatically paying for another year of a paid account, so I was like, hey, I should use my journal or something. Since I'm home for fall break and have absolutely nothing to do (for once), I decided now was a good time for that. So I've made a decision: I'm declaring amnesty. For myself. I know that sort of thing usually requires a president or queen or librarian or whatever, but I make the rules around here. Therefore, I AM OFFICIALLY PARDONED. So: Wahoo! Lindsay's venture back into the lovely world of LJ begins now! I will tell you about me and television and then read about you and we will converse and it will be like old times. And if you're on my flist and we haven't really spoken before and therefore don't exactly have any old times to get back to, oh, get ready, because I'm about to pay attention to you so hard you'll feel like you've suddenly acquired a stalker.

Except the kind that leaves your underwear alone.

Anyway. Let's move on to subjects of interest:

Important things first: I've decided to go as Daria for Halloween. All I have so far are the glasses, but I figure after a trip to the Salvation Army I'll be set. Speaking of Halloween and the Sal, btw, I recently had a dream that I bought a paper-maché Sandy Cohen head at the Salvation Army and used it as my Halloween costume. SANDY COHEN. PAPER-MACHE. Where does my brain get these things and why isn't it this entertaining when I'm conscious? Also, where can I actually find a paper-maché Sandy Cohen head? I feel like that would be really useful.
School started since I last posted. (Obviously, since I haven't posted since August. Sheesh, Lindsay.) My classes are these: Italian, Survey of Russian Literature (which apparently can't count towards my English major because the books weren't written in English. Yeah, well, neither was fucking SHAKESPEARE), The Modern Novel, Comparative Literature: A Mystery to Me, and this tutoring seminar thing that will allow me to tutor in the writing center next semester for MONEY.
I declared my major: English. It was pretty uneventful: I talked to an advisor for five minutes (seriously, no exaggeration) and then signed a piece of paper. They didn't even give me a t-shirt. Kiki got a t-shirt when she declared American Culture.
I'm still working at the shoe store I work at but never mention. Most likely because there's usually nothing to say about it, which is indeed the case right now.
I saw Quarantine last night. I think I actually liked it. I thought Dexter's sister was fantastic in it, which is odd, because I can't stand her on Dexter.
I'm going to the San Marino Club tomorrow! For risotto with clam sauce!
John Green's new book Paper Towns is out and I'm looking forward to reading it. Because I still like YA fiction. Except John Green is fucking awesome, so I'm not ashamed. No, in fact! I feel sorry for the people who haven't read his stuff. Or checked out his vlog on YouTube. Because he's fucking awesome. He's wearing mismatched socks in his photo on the book jacket.
I got drunk last night off of Sparks and Sangria and watched Angels in the Outfield.
My school's football teams sucks. Anyone see the game today? We scored seventeen points in the first half against Penn State--who, by the way, is ranked number three--and then just disintegrated. It was painful.
I can't think of anything else worth mentioning. Oh, I lead such an incredibly exciting existence.

I watch a lot of TV. That's probably something you've noticed by now. So in order to keep this short, I'll limit my comments to three or less per show. And because it's me, they will mostly be of a shallow nature. But hey, it's all alphabetized!

Bones:

At some point, this actually became one of the shows I look forward to most each week. I think this season's decent so far (the opening episodes were kind of crappy, but it's gotten better) and there's SO MUCH I'm looking forward to in the coming episodes. Namely...
MICHAEL GUERIN IS GOING TO BE BOOTH'S BROTHER. (Er, sorry, casting spoiler. But come on, who wouldn't want to know that?)

Fringe:

This show should just be about Pacey and his crazy dad. I don't like Olivia and somehow I'm finding a show that should be insane--I mean, there was an episode about babies growing into Gollum in, like, less than a minute--kind of boring. I fell asleep during Tuesday's episode, and I normally never do that, no matter how tired I am.

Ghost Hunters:

I have a crush on Grant.
I have a crush on Tango.
I have a crush on Steve.

Gossip Girl:

I didn't watch this show regularly last year, but this season, I decided I should. There's one reason for this: Chuck Bass.

House:

I love the PI dude. What's his name? Lucas? I've heard from multiple sources that he's a possible spin-off, and if that actually happens, I will so watch. He's adorable and there's an empty spot in my life where a detective show should go.
HOUSE AND WILSON.
HOUSE AND CUDDY.

Friday Night Lights:

Oh, Matt Saracen. Seriously. This kid, I love him. And I'm so loving all these Matt/Julie scenes we've had lately.
I think I'm starting to ship Tim and Lyla? They've just been kind of adorable and surprisingly entertaining. Tim ate a pigeon.
This season is already so much better than last season. No one's been murdered (yet, at least), so it seems to me like we're on the right track.

Project Runway:

I may be the only one, but I actually wanted Kenley to win.

Pushing Daisies:

I adore Olive and I don't like Chuck very much (aka at all). Therefore, I think I'm maybe one out of three people (including Olive herself) who ships Olive/Ned.
I'm still kind of disappointed with this show. It's just too sweet for me; I was really expecting something more along the lines of Dead Like Me or Wonderfalls. I mean, I still really enjoy it. Please don't get me wrong. Basically I think I just want there to be a sarcastic, cynical, kind of mean female protagonist.

Secret Diary of a Call Girl:

I really fucking love this show. I don't think I've mentioned that before, but I do. So much. I really don't know why, either.
This season has me so conflicted. On one hand, there's ~~Mason~~ Callum Blue, and I adore him and totally want things to work out between him and Hannah. But on the other hand, there's Ben. And I take back what I said earlier--I know exactly why I love this show so much: Ben and Hannah and the weird relationship they've got going on. I hardcore ship them. So: conflicted.
I'm really digging this season. She better not give up prostitution, though.

Okay, Lovelies. Now it's your turn: TELL ME ALL ABOUT YOUR LIVES. I feel like I've missed everything and I don't like that feeling.

I've got more records than the KGB.

Wed, 27 Aug 2008 00:54:29 GMT

Five things:

1. Book rec! Special Topics in Calamity Physics by Marisha Pessl. It's funny and heartbreaking and even a little genre blurring. At first, the narrator reminded me of Jessica Darling (UGH), but after about four chapters of her occasionally snotty narration and the five (on average) literary references she makes per sentence, I got used to it and learned to appreciate her. I'm crap at summarizing novels, so I won't even try (especially with this one, as it's really long and involved and I don't want to give anything away), so if you're interested, I linked to its Amazon page.

2. I'M GOING TO KILL MY MOTHER. At dinner tonight she was talking about how Obama needs to become the president so African American boys will have someone positive to look up to (because apparently he's the only black guy worthy of being a role model, according to my mother) so that they won't impregnate girls and not stick around to be the father. I was like... um, okay? She started making up all these statistics, I finished eating and left the table, and then she somehow turned that topic into a personal attack against me. How I think I'm superior because I got to college, how I "don't lift a finger unless it's holding a fork" (which is actually kind of witty--she must have read it somewhere), how I've lived a cushioned life and don't deserve the things I have. Then she starts going on and on about how when she was my age, her mother wasn't cooking dinner for her; no, she was having her parents over for dinner to eat with her and her husband (not my father). Which was a great thing to bring up, as he abused and cheated on her until they got divorced, which only happened when he decided to leave her. So by that time, I couldn't just keep taking the onslaught of YELLING without responding (I'm learning to use self control when it comes to her, as evidenced by my lack of entries complaining about her this summer, but I'm not that good), so I said--and it may be bad, and I know I shouldn't have said it, but seriously, it's all I said the entire time--"Yeah, you obviously made some really brilliant choices when you were my age. Please, teach me how to quit college and marry a lunatic so I can be like you." And then she ran outside and started crying. Jesus.

3. This probably won't come as a surprise after number two, but: OH MY GOD I WANT TO GO TO BACK TO SCHOOL RIGHT NOW. I'm still waiting for the management company to call and say my apartment's ready to move into. Apparently the old tenants (ha, spelled that "tennants" the first time around) only moved out a few days ago.

4. I may want to move back to Ann Arbor, but I really, really don't want to pack for it. To the degree of infinity.

5. What with all the night scenes and everything, watching Buffy on my MacBook really reveals how extraordinarily dirty and smudged the screen is. Ew. Nothing ever gets the stuff off, either, because it's that weird material. Do any fellow Mac users know any good tricks?

ETA:
2b. My mother just came and apologized to me, saying, "Sorry, I'm just having a melt down." Uh, yeah, NO KIDDING.

6. I forgot to mention this, but as a further example of why today sucks: I woke up this morning and promptly vomited. Three times. No clue why.